HAIL TO THE OWL!!

I still have the God-awful owl lamp that was so prominently displayed smack dab in the middle of the living room of the house I grew up in.  Or shall I say the house I was raised in because, let’s face it, I still haven’t grown up.  This isn’t your run-of-the-mill owl lamp, and yet it’s so ugly and plain that it defies description (of course the plastic wrap remained on the shade so as not to diminish it's tackiness).  I wound up with it by default. Of my Mother’s numerous collections, the Owl Collection was one of the first and most plentiful and included owls of every sort that provided every function of every thing you never even knew existed and wished you didn’t.

After my Mom died, my sisters, father, and I set about the task of going through her various collections of things.  I was shocked to hear that QVC still reported profits in the absence of my Mother’s support. Not only did she go about collecting stuff for herself, but she lived to bestow crazy, random stuff on all of us as well.  Of course, none of us had the heart to say, “Look, Mom, I really don’t need a rhinestone-encrusted tampon holder, or a “music box” from CVS that plays “Love Me Tender” while a porcelain replica of Elvis (looking a lot more like Dracula, I might add) twirls on top.”  I’m serious, this is what we were dealing with! Speaking of Elvis, I have (or, have had, as I’ve finally had the wherewithal to part with most of it) a vast collection of Elvis memorabilia, thanks to my Mom.  I think the conversation went something like this:  Mom: “Paula, do you like Elvis Presley?”  Me:  “Yeah, he’s ok, I guess.”  Translation: Mom: “Paula, do you like Elvis Presley?”  Me: “OMG!!! I love him SO much and want anything and everything about him no matter how ridiculous! In fact, I never want anything that’s not Elvis-related for my birthday or Christmas ever again!!”  

Year after year, that’s what I got: an Elvis watch, many commemorative issues of magazines entirely devoted to Elvis, a cassette of Elvis Does Christmas with the Chipmunks, Elvis earrings, an Elvis phone and numerous series’ of Elvis “baseball” cards and, well, yeah, you get the picture.  I must admit that the phone was pretty cool and I also had an amazing clock where Elvis was decked out in a blue and white checkered jacket and his hips and legs swung as the pendulum. Of course, that broke somewhere along the way, along with the phone, but by God all that other stuff remained intact! There are actually scads of old Christmas and birthday photos of me opening yet another Elvis gift and it has became one of the all-time favorite inside jokes between my sisters and I. And guess what proudly stands in the background of so many of these photos? The treasured owl lamp! It lived on the end table by the rocking chair from Mexico which was by the Stereo Console. Over the years it became like another family member.
So, my sisters and I found ourselves staring dumfoundedly at all this stuff to go through, including the owl lamp.  It was impossible to get rid of, despite it’s hideousness (not unlike some actual family members who shall remain anonymous....).  How I became the Anointed One escapes me. However, there was plenty more to go around. “Oh, my God, do you remember this?” I cried, holding up a stained crocheted owl kitchen towel.  It had a tab at the top that folded over the drawer handle and then buttoned, keeping it in place.  Stuff surfaced that we hadn’t seen in years and we took turns crying out, "Look at this! The roast beef fork!" and "Ohhhh, it's the old toothpick holder!" and "Look! It's the owl folk art burlap thing!!" (another score on my my part).  Things that had seemed so inconsequential now held such strong memories for all of us.  Here was all this stuff that we would never use and really didn’t even vaguely like, but couldn’t bear to part with. This whole owl lineage was something tangible we could hold onto from our childhoods when all other traces seemed to evaporate a little more with each passing year.
The owl lamp now lives in my basement, collecting dust, but, hey, it’s still there, keeping watch.  And Elvis? Well, he hasn't completely left the building yet either...